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    THIS IS THE BEST SONG IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I'm So Postmodern - The Bedroom Philosopher

    I'm so postmodern that I just don't talk anymore,
    I wear different coloured t-shirts according to my mood.

    I'm so postmodern that I work from home
    as a surf life saving consumer hotline.

    I'm so postmodern that all my clothes are made out of sleeping bags,
    I don't need pockets, I'm a pocket myself.

    I'm so postmodern I go to parties I'm not invited to
    and locate the vegemite and write my name on everyone.

    I'm so postmodern that I write reviews for funerals,
    and heckle at weddings from inside a suitcase.

    I'm so postmodern I'm going to adopt a child,
    and teach him how to knit, and call him Adolf Diggler.

    I'm so postmodern that I breakdance in waiting rooms,
    play Yahtzee in nightclubs, at three in the afternoon.

    I'm so postmodern I only go on dates that last thirteen minutes,
    via walky talky, while hiding under the bed.

    I'm so postmodern I invite strangers to my house,
    and put on a slide show of other people's nans.

    I'm so postmodern I went home and typed up everything you said,
    and printed it out in wingdings, and gave it back to you.

    I'm so postmodern I held an art exhibition -
    a Chuppa Chup stuck to a swimming cap, and no one was invited.

    I'm so postmodern I make alphabet soup,
    and dye it purple, and pour it on the lawn.

    I'm so postmodern I request Hey Mona on karaoke,
    then sing my life story to the tune of My Sharona.

    I'm so postmodern I only think in palendromic haikus -
    (insert palendromic haiku).

    I'm so postmodern that I sit down to wee,
    and stand up to poo, at job interviews.

    I'm so postmodern that I dress up as Santa,
    in the middle of August, and haunt golf courses.

    I'm so postmodern that I cut off all my hair,
    and knitted it into a beanie, and threw it off a bridge.

    I'm so postmodern that I stole everyone's mail,
    and cut them up into a ransom note and hid it in a thermos.

    I'm so postmodern I take my leggo to the supermarket
    and build my own shopping trolley, and only buy one nut.

    I'm so postmodern I wrote a letter to the council -
    ...I think it was 'M.'

    I'm so postmodern I bought a round the world plane ticket,
    and stuffed my clothes with eggplant and pretended it was me.

    I'm so postmodern I've got a tattoo of my pin number
    in heiroglyphics on my neighbour's guide dog.

    I'm so postmodern I fought my way into parliament,
    and made a law banning Nuttelex, and then moved to Spain.

    I'm so postmodern that I iron all my lettuce leaves,
    put my shirts in the crisper - they're real crisp.

    I'm so postmodern I give live mice to buskers,
    dirty tea towels to the Mormons, and pavlova to crabs.

    I'm so postmodern that I live in a tent,
    on a platform of skateboards that's tied to a tram.

    I'm so postmodern I write four thousand-word essays
    on the cultural significance of party pies.

    I'm so postmodern I recite Shakespeare at KFC drive thru's,
    through a megaphone, in sign language.

    I'm so postmodern I'm going to watch the Olympics
    on a black & white TV, with the sound down.

    I'm so postmodern I go to the gym after hours,
    push up against the door, then cry myself to sleep.

    I'm so postmodern I wrote a trilogy of novels
    from the perspective of a possum that Jesus patted once.

    I'm so postmodern that I marry all my friends,
    soak myself in metho, and tell them that they've changed.

    I'm so postmodern I bought every book written in 1963
    as a reading challenge, and clogged up a waterslide.

    I'm so postmodern I think I might be a god
    in my undies rolling in sugar, in the carpark of a rodeo.

    I'm so postmodern I prerecorded this song,
    and laced a message subliminally telling Shane Porteous to buy a smock.

    May 03 11:48 PM | Blog it

    Comments (3)

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    Kelli-Jaiwrote:
    Hey Bea,

    Sorry 4 the late reply.

    Thnx 4 joining our sound off.

    We have added you 2 the list.

    We have quite a few people now so we will be tomorrow.

    All you need 2 do is write a blog about the 1 thing that really annoyed you the most during this week.

    Then drop by our space & click on all the others spaces on the list & see what they got het up about this week 2.Then just continue this every Monday.

    Hopefully it will be interesting to see what makes people of different ages/sexes/cultures/ go GRRRRRR every week.

    It will also give everyone a chance 2 make new space friends & view some gr8 spaces in the process.

    Looking forward 2 dropping back tomorrow.*(**j)*

    ***Kelli-Jai*** & {{{Kim}}}
    May 7
    Paul Mortonwrote:
    im so post modern i... ahhh fuk it.
    May 6
    ++Bodybag-​Lapdance++wrote:
    BEABO! i'm so postmodern i dont even know what the fuck postmodern means or maybe im just stupid... im so postmodern i pooped my pants.
    May 6

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